"Removing the TV and choosing to homeschool are two of the most obvious and effective solutions to the problem of wrong influences, but beyond those, one of the most enjoyable and simple things you can do to produce godly, loving children, is to keep them doing more things with you and fewer things with other children outside of your family. If you keep them with you and teach them all you know about godliness, AND you keep them away from wrong influences when they are young, you will scarcely have to worry about anything else. You will eliminate a myriad of problems that result from allowing or encouraging your children to frequently socialize with other children.
If anyone doubts how much good this can do, just read carefully the many desperate stories of Christian mothers whose children are straying, and pay strict attention to how much the matter of "outside influences" factored into the problems they are having. If you are honest in your assessment, you will find that a vast number of these problems are the direct result of the influence of "friends" outside the family. This is where your children will learn values other than yours. This is where your children will pick up attitudes that are anti-family and anti-authority. This is where your children will be exposed to many things you never wanted them to be have anything to do with. This is where they will lose their loyalty toward you and God and turn their loyalty toward the world. If you want to raise your children to choose the Lord as their God, you must reject the world's unrelenting chant that your children "need" to socialize outside your home. Instead, you must believe the Lord when He says, "Therefore, come out from their midst and be separate."
Love that book! Such great godly wisdom. I wish it was required reading when you have your first baby.
ReplyDeleteAt what point do we disciple our children to live on mission in the world around them. Not to be afraid of the "outsiders" but to love them as Jesus loved them, and that though we are called out and distinct as followers of the Way, we are also fellow beggars.
ReplyDeleteThis protectionist approach is similar to the Essenes who hid away in caves... to the Pharisees who socialized only in their own small bubble, and to Israel in large view as they built walls of Holiness and failed in the Mission of God. To this, the parable of the lost talents is preached. We aren't to put it into the ground to protect it, but to be about "the Father's business." Our children are to be disciples of Jesus. We can do that in real-time, real-life living.
"Coming out and being separate" is not a literal command to go move into separate communes, minimizing exposure to the image bearing, God-loved neighbors around us.
We should do more discipling our children, submitting them to the Lord and trusting Him, and try less to be their God, to be in control, etc.
ReplyDeleteMy children have friends from school over one night a week. We encourage them to make friends -- and are discipling them to disciple their friends. Not with a Bible Study chart, but the way Jesus did, with life, love and waiting for the Spirit to bring about a time to share the story. Either way, my "socialized" children are robust in their faith, full of love for others, and don't have identity issues about who they are as followers of Jesus.
We should do more discipling our children, submitting them to the Lord and trusting Him, and try less to be their God, to be in control, etc.
ReplyDeleteHow can we disciple them when they're across town in the hands of an unbeleiver? How can we...Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.Duet 11:19? A disciple is not above his teacher, but everyone when he is fully trained will be like his teacher.Luke 6:40
My children have friends from school over one night a week. We encourage them to make friends -- and are discipling them to disciple their friends. Not with a Bible Study chart, but the way Jesus did, with life, love and waiting for the Spirit to bring about a time to share the story. Either way, my "socialized" children are robust in their faith, full of love for others, and don't have identity issues about who they are as followers of Jesus.
Praise the Lord! Sounds like youve given your heart to raising up Godly children, I too, encourage my children to have friends over, and often. All kinds of friends, we love people...thats the message.
At what point do we disciple our children to live on mission in the world around them. Not to be afraid of the "outsiders" but to love them as Jesus loved them,
ReplyDeleteI dont shelter my children from the world rather I go with them into the world. They will go alone when they can be trusted to serve and love like Jesus.
My purpose in sheltering my children is not only to protect them from evil (although thts enough of a reason) rather it is to prepare them to battle evil fully equipped.
God doesnt save us one day and send on the mission field the next. Hes wise, He knows we cant handle missions without training.
I want nothing more than children who will love and serve like Jesus loved, that is precisely why I shelter them now.
"God doesnt save us one day and send on the mission field the next. Hes wise, He knows we cant handle missions without training."
ReplyDeleteI have never thought of it like this. What a great point. I really appreciate seeing it like this. It encourages me to keep going.
When I think of the disciples, they were on the "mission field" from the beginning. There were no tidy distinctions.
ReplyDeleteI haven't advocated "turn them loose and don't parent." I've instead spoke out against protectionism, cultivating attitudes about evil "outsiders" (acknowledging as much evil exists even within our churches), and instead helping them communicate and relate to the world around them.
They come home and bring their questions. We don't always give answers (and that's not always what they need or want). They share their experiences. We disciple. Age-appropriate discipling.
Growing up in church myself, I'm seeing this from a family that attempted to "shelter" me, at the risk of excluding me.
cultivating attitudes about evil "outsiders" (acknowledging as much evil exists even within our churches)
ReplyDeleteAgreed! Church youth groups are often the absolute last place we should dump our kids.
I dont want to shield them just go with them until they are mature enough to go alone.
You know honestly I dont need a church youth group or public school to teach my children how to sin, my children need Christ just like everyone else. We can experience greed, hatred, lust and anger without ever leaving our home.
Its not us against them its us working diligently to prepare ourselves *for* them.
How can we save the lost if we immerse ourselves in their culture and become like them? Children are impressionable, they will become like their peers.
When I think of the disciples, they were on the "mission field" from the beginning.
ReplyDeleteYes, but they weren't 8 and 12 years old. Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child. Thats the word. We cant send fools on the mission field. We cant stuff a bunch of *fools* in a room and expect wisdom to come out of it.
Course, I gotta admit my oldest is 13 so I could be wrong, correction....just read today in James that we are all wrong to some degree. Lookin through a dark glass... I am however desperate for His direction concerning my children. I am studying Proverbs and trying to hear His instruction. I trust He will help me! Its a scary balancing act for sure.
I would like to add my perspective on this. I was homeschooled until grade 9, and spent the following four grades in high school.
ReplyDeleteI was well-protected by my parents who raised me to stand against the crowd, regardless of the cost. I was limited with who I socialized with and was taught to influence positively, rather than be influenced. High school, I lost some innocence, which I wish I would not have. I completely agree with Graceful Threads about the perspective on raising children: Go WITH them into the world, not leave them to stand on their own. Eight hours in a day, they are influenced at a very impressionable age to be like peers who are not Godly. I cringe to think what I would be if I had to go to elementary school. My parents provided me with enough grounding to withstand the majority of things thrown at me in high school, and subsequently, university.
No, "outsiders" aren't evil, but when children are impressionable, you need to carefully monitor what is put before their eyes, and what goes in their ears. We are different; we are called to be holy and live holy lives. If a child is not grounded in holiness correctly, and doesn't have the chance to be tested within safe limits (ie: with the guidance and protection of their parents) they are going to be at a greater risk.
Keep in mind, I am only 21 years old, not an "old" person!! I also do not agree with youth groups. I think they are a waste of time, for the most part. You can fellowship in a Godly, wholesome atmosphere with people of ALL ages in church. Youth groups tend to get out of hand.
Thank you for another thought-provoking post!
Rachel,
ReplyDeleteYou are so smart.