Saturday, May 23, 2009


Honestly it bothers me that my family's identity is so closely tied to the way we look and the choices we make in living a separated life. I don't want modesty, homeshooling and conservative values to be what people notice about my family. If people see my conservative life and are attracted to that then they are attracted to the WRONG thing. Jesus saves, not a lifestyle. I would like people to see Jesus. I know this sounds corny but I would like to exude the Love of Christ. I would like to extend grace,mercy,comfort and love to those I meet, but I'm afraid people walk away thinking we are just strangely peculiar.

I think people, including professing *Christians* are either threatened,offended or confused by a family who is radically separate. I hate that, I wish people would see past the uniform. When we meet new people I feel like I have to spend half my time trying to make them feel know, "please believe me, *I'm human*" that type of thing!! These difficulties in relationships are not worth compromising God given convictions though....just a frustrating part of being a Christian I guess.


  1. This post makes me think ...

    If a Christian has to spend the majority of their time justifying their outward appearance in order to make someone feel "comfortable" around them, is that REALLY Christ-like? Are you "upholding" a certain outward standard for your own justification? Does it HINDER others to be drawn to your life in Christ?

    Largely speaking, sinners are not drawn to a woman's long hair, high neck line, long sleeve blouse and makeup-less face and perfectly kept household. They are drawn to a certain natural happiness that is shown through your life.

    The Bible says we are to be a peculiar people. That means "unique or specific to a person or thing or category".

    When God called us to be "peculiar", I really don't believe that he was saying we need to all look like cloned Apostolics, all living by the same book of un-biblical rules. Think about it, God wants us to ALL be unique individuals. If He called us to be PECULIAR, why are we trying to make every one look like us in outward appearance when they come to our churches?

    That being said ... I believe that if God has given you a specific conviction that you feel strongly about, you must follow it. However, I don't think another man's preferences should be held over people's heads as though they are sin, when they are not in the Word of God as sin.

    Sorry if I veered off the topic a little there at the end... :o) It's just a really interesting thought you've brought up.

    God bless!!

  2. Thank you for the comment Rachel...I know you may of just been posing *hypothetical* questions to everyone in general but I will post my answers...

    If a Christian has to spend the majority of their time justifying their outward appearance in order to make someone feel "comfortable" around them, is that REALLY Christ-like? I guess I would like to be liked, so that is why I work to make others comfy. I would like to build relationships. Even deep meaningful ones. Im always looking for a *Kindered Spirit* as Ann of Green Gables would say.:-)Selfish, I guess.

    Are you "upholding" a certain outward standard for your own justification? This is something I work on constantly. I know I dont WANT to hang my Christian creditionals on an outward standard, but when you have outward standards its an easy crutch to coast on isnt it? Im on a journey, its not over. I cant say I have conquered my self righteousness but I am aware of it.

    Does it HINDER others to be drawn to your life in Christ? I think our religion does hinder relationship with others, but Jesus didnt renounce His Judaism just so He could win the Gentiles, rather He died to win others.

    Completely conforming to the world is not the answer, although Paul did say he became all things to all men for the sake of evangelism. Paul also had a name change from Saul to Paul. He went from a Jewish name to a Roman name, some think he had a name change so that he could win the Gentiles....

  3. Since people are rarely won through casual contact, I personally do not think outward appearance inhibits those who truly hunger for Jesus. My experience has found the opposite to be true, in fact. Once people have gotten to know me as a person, they generally come to respect what I believe even if they don't follow it. I also know of many people who were first drawn to us because we stood out in a crowd and they were curious. That was NOT what won them, but it was what caused the initial curiosity (caused by a deeper hunger). They were won later through Jesus' love, both by being around Christians and feeling it in a church service.

    I really think the "church" is going through a time of deep introspection. I know of many people who have been around a long time who are re-evaluating old principles. Those of us raised with very strong conservative "standards" are questioning the whys and wherefores. My husband and I are no exception. Our late night discussions always come down to "where Spirit and Truth" meet. To throw away "standards" - which do not save us - but which runs the risk of becoming worldly, and having more "spirit" but less "truth" (because yes, our standards are definitely based on biblical truths) is one side - OR - to come down hard on "conservative ways, or standards" runs the risk of being Phariseeical and having the "truth" but not the "spirit".

    It is at times like this that I understand truly why God gave us pastors and the five fold ministry. It is all about balance, as in everything in life, and thank God we don't have to make some of those decisions.

    Thank you for your thought provoking post, once again.

  4. Many years ago I saw a girl in Borders books with a cool hair style and asked her how she did it. Her mother (with pretty curled hair and a long pretty skirt) invited me over to her home so they could teach me how to do my hair. Several Bible studies and 10 years later I am now serving God and have my own "cool" hairstyles! Their looks made me curious but their Holy Ghost touched me!

  5. I have also experienced what Darla said. The outward appearances have opened up many doors for me to talk to people about God. Our outward appearance is how people physically distinguish the children of God, and I cannot say I think it is a bad thing.

  6. I dont want my outward appearance to define me. Im hoping there is much more to my *walk* than just mere clothing and hair.

    My clothing is only a *byproduct* of my heart, not the root.I have firm convictions about modesty ect but I pray God let those convictions be the fruit of a bowed heart, not the defining characteristic of my walk.

    I cannot think of one instance of anyone being won by a persons outward appearance in the Bible.John the Baptist stank and wore camels hair. Jesus had no form nor comliness. Paul didnt come with enticements. Peter and John were unlearned and ignorant.

    The Bible say ...By *THIS* shall all men know that you are my disiples.....your love for each other. LOVE is the ongoing theme....not long sleeves. LOVE is supposed to be what people notice about us.

    Jesus did indeed talk about long robes and outward appearances.It was when He was rebuking the Pharisees for their self righteousness.

    Thank you ladies, all of you, for the comments, I hope that these kinds of discussions draw us closer to Him and each other as Sisters. Love to you all!

  7. GT: I don't think we disagree on any of this, really. I only meant that our outward appearance does not always attract negative attention, and the love of God is eventually shown to people who engage us in conversation....much like the "Jessica's".

    Love to you, as well.

  8. CM - your responding comment is so clearly put. Very much enjoyed this post. :o)

  9. I grew up dressing in a very unique style of modest dress (think Little House on the Prairie), along with no cut hair, makeup, jewelry and so forth. Personally, I found it a hindrance to the gospel because most people just could not get past my extreme appearance. I totally identify with your frustration.

    Now I choose a more mainstream version of modest dress with much more happy results. God wants us to be modest, but the Word does not specify the exact style of clothing that's acceptable for a Christian woman. People are no longer so preoccupied with my unusual manner of dress and they seem to be able to see Jesus instead! :)